I lose my erection throughout intercourse with my spouse – am I overthinking it?

I lose my erection throughout intercourse with my spouse – am I overthinking it?

I lose my erection throughout intercourse with my spouse – am I overthinking it?

Couple on bed (posed by models)



‘Intercourse isn’t a contest. There is no such thing as a scoreboard.’ (Posed by fashions.)
Composite: Getty

Throughout intercourse, my spouse and I will likely be going properly and I’ll lose my erection. I’m aroused and I really like her, however I get inside my head and suppose too arduous. Originally of our relationship, she would orgasm about 5 instances to my one; it was at all times that I took too lengthy. I typically really feel as if I’m not letting myself go. Is it a confidence factor?

Intercourse isn’t a contest. There is no such thing as a scoreboard. Should you method love-making as if there’s a purpose to realize – and even with the primary intention of being good at it – you’ll fail to get pleasure from it absolutely. Throughout lovemaking, attempt to make your principal purpose merely giving and receiving pleasure. Strategy intercourse within the data that it is not uncommon and normative to lose your erection infrequently – and that erectile failure is extra prone to occur in case you are nervous and goal-oriented. As an alternative of attempting to even the rating, merely enable your self to obtain pleasure in addition to give it. You might be married to somebody you like and he or she appears to be sexually fulfilled; all it’s a must to do is to loosen up and luxuriate in being along with her … with out counting climaxes.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual issues.

If you need recommendation from Pamela on sexual issues, ship us a quick description of your considerations to personal.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t ship attachments). Submissions are topic to our phrases and situations: see gu.com/letters-terms

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Source:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/20/i-lose-my-erection-during-sex-with-my-wife-am-i-overthinking-it

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